Bathing Alone: When Is It Safe?

Everywhere you look, you are faced with a different opinion on when it’s safe to leave a child unattended in the bath. I attended a parenting course called Family Links a few years ago and while we were covering “Appropriate Expectations” we discussed this very subject. Under no uncertain terms I was told I shouldn’t let Goldilocks bathe alone until she was 9. I was, surprisingly, the only person in the room that was gobsmacked by this.

In my opinion, 9 is far too old to still be bathing a child. I was beginning the earlier physical stages of puberty by then (budding nipples, etc) and was a very moody child. I probably would have had a hissy fit if my mum had attempted to wash me, or sit in the bathroom and watch me wash. I think it’s important to respect a child’s increasing need for personal space as they grow up, within reason. It doesn’t mean you have to ignore them completely while they are in the bath.

I in turn shocked everyone else in the room by voicing my opinion, to be abruptly told by the better-than-thou woman to my left that when she was little her friend drowned in the bath after being left unattended. The boy in question was the same age Goldilocks was at the time (4 years old) and had been left upstairs in the bath with his 2 year old brother while his parents, older sister and better-than-thou woman played in the back garden.

I was very annoyed to have this woman blatantly direct this at me as if to tell me that my daughter will surely drown soon when I had already made it clear that although I did allow Goldilocks to have her own time in the bath, I did not consider it a problem because I was never far away from the bathroom and the door was always left open. I did not expect her to wash herself or climb in and out without help and would assist her with this.

On no account did I say I would leave a younger, much less co-ordinated child unsupervised in the bath while I left the building to play with other children outside, which is what I felt I was being accused of.

What works for you and your child is what you should do. If your child still wants you to bathe them at 9 then do so, but bear in mind for someone to feel they deserve respect then they should be consistently shown respect. I understand that 4 years old may seem very young to some people, but as long as a child is physically co-ordinated enough to sit in a bath reliably (i.e. must be big enough to hold themselves steady without assistance in the bath as it is so slippery) and the child is ok with you leaving the room then it’s ok to give them that little bit of freedom.

After all – parenthood isn’t about keeping children children, it’s about helping children grow.

Note: I am NOT a health professional and the opinions stated are mine only. Please seek advice from your Health Visitor or other health professional if you are unsure of what to do.