The Birds, The Bees and The Chickens

Photo by Clare Bloomfield

It's a question most of us remember asking and all of us dread being asked:

"How did that get in there?"

When I got pregnant with Little Bear, I told Goldilocks that there was a tiny baby in my belly and that it was going to grow into a real baby. She didn't quite believe me at first, but then was thrilled. I worried about the awkward questions, but told myself that I would make sure I told her the truth in an age-appropriate way no matter what questions she asked. So I waited. And waited. Then I waited some more. Eventually...

10 Great Christmas Lies

Photo by Stuart Miles

I admit it - I'm a terrible mother. I tell constant lies to Goldilocks - from Father Christmas to dreamcatchers and everything in-between. For the most part these have has harmless effects but I do remember feeling terrible when she sulked Christmas Day because Rudolph didn't wait for her to get up: she had been looking forward to meeting him. We all lie and at some point we all get caught out, covering it up with another lie just to keep the magic going for a little bit longer. Here are a few I've used, had used on me or known other people to use.

Would You Back Corporal Punishment?

I was disappointed to read an article on the BBC News website this morning that said almost half of the parents of the UK supported corporal punishment in schools:

Making Star Charts Work

So many people recommend star charts and similar reward systems as a way for you to get your child to do just about anything – a chart for potty training, a chart for kindness, a chart for tidying etc. I have seen and experienced high-minded HVs and other child professionals look down on parents for not trying these methods, or for giving up on them. A lot of parents say the same thing – they don’t work. Yet time after time we get told they will work, we’re doing it wrong! Are we?

Bathing Alone: When Is It Safe?

Everywhere you look, you are faced with a different opinion on when it’s safe to leave a child unattended in the bath. I attended a parenting course called Family Links a few years ago and while we were covering “Appropriate Expectations” we discussed this very subject. Under no uncertain terms I was told I shouldn’t let Goldilocks bathe alone until she was 9. I was, surprisingly, the only person in the room that was gobsmacked by this.

Avoiding Back To School Madness!

Well it's August and that means only one thing: the kids go back to school soon. OMG. There's so much to buy - uniform, stationery, new coat, new bag - then there's the queues...

Erm, hang on - haven't they only just got out of school?

I just don't understand why everybody goes mental this time of year - it could be so much cheaper if we all learned to relax!

Here are some handy tips to bear in mind when you're close to pulling your hair out.

Turning Disaster Into Dessert

After a lot of nagging courtesy of Goldilocks (Little Bear was fast asleep and let's face it - he can't nag me yet) I checked again to see if the triple chocolate cookies we were baking were done. It had taken a little longer than expected - They looked as though they'd turn out tiny so I'd made them bigger.

Children Learn What They Live

Really lovely poem, I got given it on a laminated piece of card whilst doing a Family Links course. I have no idea who the author is. Found that card whilst clearing out some old junk earlier, thought I'd share it:

The Dos and Don'ts of The Beach

I went with Goldilocks on her summer trip today, and thoroughly enjoyed it. It was an almost-new experience, I've never been to Jump in Cardiff before and haven't been near a beach for 4 years. On the way to the beach I thought about all those carefree things you do there, like jumping about in the waves, building sandcastles and burying each other in the sand. Of course, I made sure we did it all. It's not often Goldilocks and I get to spend quality time together anymore (Big Bear kindly took Little Bear for the day as he was off work) so I wanted to cram in as much as possible. What struck me was how unprepared I was!

We built the castle but had nothing to fill the moat with. We had fun splashing in the waves but I couldn't pull my trousers up far enough and got soaked. I wore trainers to the beach and they got filled with sand, as did my socks.

The only thing I did prepare, essentially, was a spare pair of clothes for Goldilocks. Which got used, but not a toilet accident as I'd expected: she tripped over a ball that was floating on the waves as she tried to kick it back to the boy who kicked it. How she manages it, I do not know!

Anyway: my days lessons are learned, now to share:

• Do prepare for all weathers - more necessary if you're on a planned trip rather than a spontaneous one.
• Do make sure there are enough adults to the amount of children.
• Do wear suitable clothing - if they can't pull up (like my trousers) then consider wearing swimwear so you can remove your clothing to go and have a splash.
• Do take extra clothing for everyone!
• Don't forget to bring several towels.
• Don't forget your camera and batteries.
• Do make sure your children are educated on how to stay safe at the beach.
• Do make sure you are recognisable.
• Don't forget your bucket and spade.
• Don't make sand castles in dry sand.
• Do wear flip flops or sandals if you can: any footwear that sand would shake out of easily.
• Don't forget to keep applying that suncream!

And finally...

• Don't forget to have a great time :)

10 Reasons Mummy is a Hypocrite - Things You Tell Them Off For That You Probably Do Yourself!

I was reading my daughter (who shall forever be known as Mochyn Gini) a lovely bedtime story this evening called "Eat Your Peas" by Kes Gray. It's about a little girl called Daisy who doesn't want to eat her peas and her mum who promises the earth in her desperation to get Daisy to eat the peas. I won't spoil the story in case somebody might be about to read it, but it made me realise how we expect our children to do things that we normally don't do then complain when they refuse to do it.

10 Reasons Mummy is a Hypocrite - Things You Tell Them Off For That You Probably Do Yourself!

1. Not eating all their veg or anything else they don't like. Let's face it - some children do not like sprouts. Some adults don't either!
2. Not taking their plates out when your desk is probably full of coffee mugs etc.
3. Not keeping their rooms tidy when your room is the home's "dumping ground" (I know mine is).
4. Not taking their dirty clothes from the bathroom - they probably lost them underneath yours :)
5. Using foul language - Even if it's just what you say accidentally when you stub your toe.
6. Interrupting - It is so annoying when you're talking to somebody to hear "MUUUUUUUUUM! Mum. Mum. Mum. Mum. Mummyyyyyy! Mummyyyyyy..." and while you might not do it quite like that, think of the times you've interrupted them talking amongst themselves or before they've finished their sentence.
7. Putting extra bits in the shopping trolley I mean come on! When you're slugging around the supermarket and you see something you like, you pop it in without thought.
8. Not finishing a task because they're distracted My OH (Forever known as Big Bear) is up and has put a film on. I have stopped writing this to watch the film at least 4/5 times. The film has been on 30 mins.
9. Picking noses/biting nails We all have some sort of habit we indulge in, we were always told by our parents not to yet we still do :)
10. Borrowing without asking "It's only for a short while, he won't mind" You may not do it with your kids stuff, but you've probably done it in front of them.

If you haven't/don't do any of the above, then well done you, you are the perfect parent!

If you're unfortunately normal like everyone else, then remember - some things are OK to do, some really aren't. Are you telling them off for an annoying behaviour that you can ignore or is what they are doing genuinely wrong?

I would say that habits such as nose-picking, nail-biting or thumb-sucking are things you can ignore, if you try hard enough. It's not easy to do that straight away (Goldilocks came home sucking her thumb one day when she was 3 and hasn't stopped doing so since!) but it gets easier with time.

With the things that aren't OK, try to remember that a child will be reluctant to follow your instruction if he sees you doing the opposite. I regularly leave cups and plates on my little table, a habit I'm trying to break. Goldilocks takes her plates out eventually, after I nag her several times to do it!

If you want your children to do it, lead by example... or die trying :D

10 Things To Do When It Rains

The summer holidays are almost here and I've dutifully added a few events to my calendar. It took me a while to realise I hadn't planned anything specific for rainy days.

Rainy day activities (or any activity for that matter) just don't come naturally to me. If I'm stuck in for the day, then I will play with the children, but the majority of the day will be spent tidying up after them, cooking and making snacks/drinks for them, changing nappies, wiping faces, watching TV and flitting back and forth Facebook to share my bored-at-home misery with other people, or to try and convince somebody to come and visit us.

Six weeks is a long time to be doing that most of the time - I will not have it this year! So after some careful thought, here is a list of things to do when the skies open, or I'm otherwise prevented from leaving my humble abode.

1. Print off some colouring sheets - The CBeebies Website may be useful for this, or Google if you want a specific character.
2. Make a playpen - You don't need anything fancy for this - just some sheets and cleverly positioned furniture will do.
3. Make some facepaint - Here is a recipe!
4. Let the kids "clean" your bathroom - What harm can they possibly do with a limited supply of water and a few cloths?
5. Let them cook with you - Homemade pizza is a nice, easy one if you buy a base. Check out CBeebies, Netmums or Google some recipes with kids (that's to cook with, NOT containing!) or if all else fails - pop along to your local supermarket and get some box sets for muffins or cookies etc!
6. Read to them - Or have them read to you, age depending. Don't be afraid to get stuck in, giving each character it's own special voice or showing off a few of your moves while you read. Your kids will enjoy it more!
7. Put the music on - Remembering to be respectful to neighbours, of course! My daughter loves to listen to music of all different genres. Have a dancing competition (remembering the kids always win), pretend to be a rock star, play air guitar - or just have a cuddle and listen to some soothing music, ideally just before bedtime.
8. Make something arty - Were you just about to throw that newspaper and those cardboard boxes in the recycling bin? Stop, before it's too late! Why not let the kids loose on them instead?
9. Cwtch up in front of the TV - Stick a film or their favourite TV channel on and actually watch it with them instead of using the box as a babysitter. Believe it or not, TV is not the devil incarnate, you can enjoy it guilt-free!
10. Just go out, regardless of the weather! - Seriously, stop reading this - go get your wellies and mac, put them on and jump in some puddles - we live in Britain after all, where a puddle is (usually) only a stones throw away!

Getting the Summer Holidays Organised.

Your summer holiday activities don't have to be run like clockwork. In fact, no matter how hard you try, you'll never get it that way. Some activities do need to be planned in advance though, particularly the ones involving less fun.

If you're too organised, your children will more than likely end up stressed out and bored. If you aren't organised enough, you'll lose out on great opportunities and miss previous appointments because you forgot - you're too busy doing something else (or recovering from doing something else).

Step 1 - Clear the Calendar.

Unless you'll be attending an event specifically, clear all those birthdays off the calendar and get as close to a blank canvas as possible. It will be easier to work with.

Step 2 - Add Important Appointments.

I like to use the summer holidays as a great excuse to get my daughter's eye test and dental check-up done. It gives me a lot more flexibility and as both the optician and dentist are in a central location I can plan extra activities in the area around what I'm already doing there. Which helps to sweeten the deal - you go to the dentist and we'll (insert activity here) afterwards.

Step 3 - Fixed Events.

Some things are in town for a few days only - e.g. shows, parades, summer festivals etc. Look up local events on the Internet, your local authority website is a good place to start. If you are able to travel, consider where you are able to travel to, then look up activities in those areas. One fixed event per week is plenty for me, two at the very most. If you decide to go to two or more, why not consider making plans with a friend to go and explore, or take the kids to the park together?

Step 4 - Rainy Day Activities.

If our ever-predictable weather fails you, don't despair! There are plenty of things you can do at home. Why not have an indoor picnic, or a "cinema" evening? The indoor picnic is a personal favourite for my daughter, and so simple too. If you're feeling extra adventurous, then don those wellies and get out there - there isn't an activity much more fun than puddle jumping!

If you're still feeling stuck, then always ask a friend or family member for ideas. If you stay at home with the kids for six weeks doing the same thing day in, day out, you'll be pulling your hair out by the end of it. Try and do a little bit of forward planning, it really does help.

Summer's Here!

With summer comes that wonderful period of time when you get to enjoy your child's company constantly for six whole weeks, without having to share him/her with anybody else. Such a blissful time of year, it's only fair to fill it with as many activities and adventures as you can...

Who am I kidding? Let's face it, those six weeks may start out blissful, but unless you have an actual holiday to break up the monotony, then your "time together" may turn out pretty hectic. And you may end up bald from pulling your hair out.

Still disagreeing? After the first week, you've exhausted all your summer savings on trips to your local soft-play, arcade, cinema etc. The rest of the 5 weeks are spent listening to "MUM CAN I HAVE..."

Over. And over. And over. Remember the advert - "MUM CAN WE HAVE A RABBIT MUM CAN WE HAVE A RABBIT MUM CAN WE HAVE A RABBIT..."

Yes, you get the point - I'll stop now. We could all do with a few days out to posh but child-friendly places, but the money just isn't always there! Unless you're rich, in which case - lucky you! Not only that, but here in Blighty, the weather isn't often here either!

So, to make sure I don't spend the last few weeks before summer a nervous wreck, I've decided to research as many "cheap options" as I can. I was surprised at how much of it was just down to common sense. Now I'm chilled, I'll just watch the rest of you suffer for six weeks... :)

Just kidding. Look forward to some posts on cheap activities and if you have any ideas, by all means - share them.