10 Great Christmas Lies

Photo by Stuart Miles

I admit it - I'm a terrible mother. I tell constant lies to Goldilocks - from Father Christmas to dreamcatchers and everything in-between. For the most part these have has harmless effects but I do remember feeling terrible when she sulked Christmas Day because Rudolph didn't wait for her to get up: she had been looking forward to meeting him. We all lie and at some point we all get caught out, covering it up with another lie just to keep the magic going for a little bit longer. Here are a few I've used, had used on me or known other people to use.

1. Finding the presents - "Father Christmas wasn't quite sure if you would like this one so he posted it to me to double check. If you like it, he wants it back so he can wrap it ready for Christmas Day, if not he wants me to take it back to the shop for him."
2. Rudolph didn't wait - "I'm so sorry, but Rudolph couldn't wait. The other reindeer wouldn't have been able to see without him, and lots of children wouldn't have got their presents because Father Christmas couldn't deliver them."
3. How he gets around the world in just one night (courtesy of my Dad - CHEERS) - "Well, he didn't do it in just one night really - the g-force would kill him if he went that fast. You see, the world is actually split into different time zones..."
4. Why he always asks what your name is - "Oh, Father Christmas has to see so many children every year that he can't possibly remember all of their names. Old people do get quite forgetful, remember!"
5. Why they look at a catalogue to make a list - "The elves send the presents to places like Argos so children can choose which toys they would like best. It helps Father Christmas make sure that children don't get disappointed."
6. How he knows if they've been naughty or nice - "I phone him and tell him - every grown up knows Father Christmas's telephone number."
7. Why you're caught wrapping presents (Don't elves do it?) - "They do, but they are exceptionally busy this year. Father Christmas has promised me an extra box of chocolates this year if I help him by wrapping these ones. I'll post them back to the north pole later."
8. How he doesn't get drunk after having wine at everyone's houses - "Father Christmas doesn't get drunk - he uses his magic to take out the alcohol so he can still drink."
9. How he's hungry enough to have cookies at every single house - "Delivering presents is very hungry and thirsty work. He needs plenty of nourishment to do all that hard work!"
10. How he knows what to get babies who can't write letters or make lists - "The mums and dads decide for them and hope for the best!"

If you have any other Christmas Lies, be kind and share them. We're all in this together!